21st December 2012 11:11 am (Melbourne time)
A small gathering of people sit cross-legged in a circle on the grass. They hold hands, eyes closed, until the woman presiding inhales and opens her eyes. ‘Thank you all for coming and sharing in this experience.’ She speaks in a soft, measured voice. ‘I know we all would have liked to be in Guatemala with our Mayan brothers and sisters, but remember that they are with us in spirit for this magical day.’
The man next to her takes over. ‘To help us connect with our tribal roots and each other, I have a special preparation given to me by my Native American guru.’ He picks up a tray of earthen cups and passes them around. The others take polite sips while the man and woman drain theirs.
She stretches her arms into the sky with a beatific smile. ‘Can you feel the radiance in the air today? It’s like the whole universe is pulsating with energy.’
He clasps her hand with an emotional squeeze. ‘By sunrise tomorrow we shall be part of the fifth dimension.’
21st December 2012 10:11 pm
The man and woman lie on the grass staring at the night sky, unaware the rest of the group has dissipated. He moans, ‘I can feel the earth vibrating. It’s starting,’ and rolls over to caress the earth. ‘I’m ready, Gaia.’
She stares in wonder at the sky. ‘I can see the stars aligning, they’re communing with me.’ Jumps to her feet and grabs his hand. ‘We’re here, we’ve ascended.’ The two of them smile at each other, then turn to stare at a moving light in the distance. They walk out into the quiet street and follow the bright light dancing before them like a will-o-the-wisp.
22nd December 2012 6:11 am
She wakes to an angelic sprinkling of moisture on her face, which quickly turns into a blast of water. She blearily moves, opens her eyes and stares into the round blustery face of a man on the other end of the garden hose. He stands, hose saturating her and her companion until they begin to rouse. She sits on the lawn, looks around in confusion, blinking at the bright light and trying to shield herself from the water. The man aims the hose at her again with a roar, ‘Get off my lawn you damn hippies. What do you think this is? Judgement day or something? You two go get raptured somewhere else, you hear.’